My Armor

By William Humphries

       Robert Bly the author of Iron John says there are three colors that have a logical and symbolic progression in a man’s life. The “redness” of a man, which is fiery and competitive, happens during a his younger years. Then the “whiteness” signifies a man has found a sense of meaning and lives by the law. Lastly he comes to the “blackness,” which is maturity, meaning he understands all three colors and uses them wisely.

      A heated game of wall ball in the fifth grade led to my achievement of a knight's red armor. A calm game became full contact, when I beamed the bright yellow tennis ball at Chris’ head. Our armor clashed against one another and pushes became punches. We ended up in the principal’s office with ice bags on our heads. It was my first fight and my parents tried to make sure it was my last. However, my red armor would lead to other conflicts with different knights in Middle school.

       From then on I never let go of that fire and competitiveness I gained on the schoolyard that day. Pick up basketball and football games became extremely physical and competitive, only because I wanted to be the best. Every boy has a fierce competitive side to him and I wanted to win every time, showing I was a better player than anyone else. Even in activities I didn’t care about, I had to win or do my best trying.

      Every knight sits on his high horse mighty and tall until he gets knocked down. This has happened to me multiple times and the more I realize it, the less ‘red’ I become. My mom says, “you are to big for your britches aren’t you?” She used that saying once when I was driving over the speed limit and I had just received my license. Moments such as that make me realize that I don’t have any right taking it that far. I still have my red armor, but I am less extreme than I was in middle school. When I do get overly competitive or fiery, I catch myself right after, when back in middle school I would never catch myself because I believed it was the right thing to do. For example, my Average Joe’s basketball team had a game last week, which we played hard and lost. I didn’t fight with anyone or complain, but rather accepted defeat. I have certainly matured over the years and it's moments such as this when I spy a little ‘white’ armor. However, I realize that even if I am receiving my white armor right now, I will never let go of my red. I will always be competitive in everything I do; it will just be in a way that is respectable and noble.