Katabasis

By Jared Hash

            Back in the sixth grade, I had a stuttering problem which made it hard for me to make friends and I was quiet, lonely, and sad. In my mind, school became a black void I had to encounter every day.  However, a girl named Kate was always the light at the end of the dark void. Kate was my Golden Woman. My goals were to show her how badly I wanted her and to be able take her to the middle school dance. Kate was beautiful and I would be stupid to think other guys wouldn’t be going for her, but I was too blinded by her perfection to take that into account.

            Just after lunch ended, I saw Kate walking back to her locker with her usual crew. “This is my chance” I thought. I did face some obstacles though. My breathing accentuated and my heart fluttered. I was nervous but my infatuation would soon take that off.

            Kate was at her locker getting ready for afternoon classes and I thought to myself “well here goes nothing.” I don’t think I’ve ever been more nervous. Sweat began to build as my throat closed and my insides began to broil. Something deep within my psyche told me no, but I looked at her and she was golden. My mind was set. I went in for the kill. “K-k-kate… would you l-like to go to do the dance with m-me?”

            She just stood there with a blank expression. I couldn’t tell how she felt but I felt valiant and settled that she was thinking about saying yes and how good we would look at the dance together. The faint showings of a smirk began to appear and then all of a sudden I heard giggles sprouting from Kate. I didn’t know what was happening so I just began to smile and laugh with her. But then, everybody else chimed in. I was lost. Suddenly, complete silence. “I would never go to the dance with someone like you.” Then Kate just walked away.

            I simply stood there trying to comprehend what was going on. Did she really just tell me no? How could she just brush me off like I was nothing? My mind began to spiral down into the dark places of my mind. The katabasis I was experiencing was something I’ve never felt before, and it hit hard. How could she? I mustered up everything I had to ask her and she just blew me away like I was nothing. I started to feel like what she treated me as; shit. I began to hate her. She was no longer golden in my mind. Her golden tint developed a swampy green coloration, and I began to view her as the ugliest, most grotesque thing ever. Gold never lasts.