Disrespectful Little Brat

Anonymous

        Throughout my entire life, I have lived in the midst of a constant battle with my inner beast. Occasionally I have been able to defeat this beast living deep within me; but on many occasions, I lose. This inner beast that I have struggled with for my entire life is my pride and stubbornness. My sense of pride has made me extremely hard-headed. My stubbornness has caused me many hardships, mainly arguments with my mother. One of these arguments was much worse than all of the others, and I am still ashamed of it.

          We normally butt heads over small things, like chores I have failed to do. My mother and I both share the same sense of pride and stubbornness, which can lead to quite a few of these confrontations. This argument, however, was much worse than our normal shouting matches. Normally, we yell at each other for a day or two, and then make up, but this time was different. The previous night, I had come home about an hour late for my curfew, and my mom was pissed. Instead of being civil and trying to explain to my mother that I had simply been out with my friends and lost track of time, I became defensive: “What’s your problem Mom? I was with my friends! Why do you always treat me like a child?” I had a nasty tone in my voice that my mother did not like one bit.       
      “If you think this is me treating you like a child, I’ll show you what it’s like to be treated like a child! You’re acting like a disrespectful little brat!” The next thing I knew, my mother and I were in the midst of a heated shouting match.

          Instead of simply accepting the fact that I was in the wrong, I kept arguing with my mother. “Calm down Mom! I didn’t even do anything that bad!” Our shouting was so loud that we woke my dad up on the other side of the house through a closed door and over the roar of his fan. He quickly came and broke us up. “What are y’all arguing about now? Both of y’all need to calm down! Son, go up to your room. Your mother and I are going to talk.” 
          For the rest of the week, I tried to avoid my mother at all costs. Due to the fact that we live in the same house, that is nearly impossible. When my mother and I are in an argument, she does everything she can to make my life a living hell. She finds countless chores for me to do, mostly busy work that she has created for the sole purpose of me completing it. Some of these chores include, running errands that she normally does, doing tasks that our housekeeper normally does, and occasionally cleaning up messes that she makes just so I have to clean them up. She also relieves my brother of his chores and gives them to me. She even wakes me up early in the morning just to complete these pointless tasks. This always causes me to become even more angry, and the shouting starts all over again.

          This process normally lasts anywhere from a few days to a week. This argument, however, lasted for a very long week. The fight should not have even started, but due to my inner beast creeping out of the depths of my subconscious, it did. Every time I saw my mother, my inner beast took over me. Against my better judgement, I would say something disrespectful to her every chance I got. I would mutter something inaudible under my breath whenever I passed by her. “This is bullshit,” I said to myself as I passed her one evening. “What did you just say?” she asked. I responded by saying, “Nothing, Mom! Mind your own business!” Due to my disrespect, she extended my grounding another two days.

          At this point I realized that I needed to get my inner beast under control. This argument was getting out of hand. I began to bite my tongue whenever I saw my mother to make sure that I would not say something disrespectful. I began to do whatever meaningless chores she gave me without talking back to her. It was tough, but I made it through the rest of the week without any more arguments. I realized that if I was able to quell my inner beast once, I could do it again.

          Since that confrontation, I have taken control of my inner beast. My mother and I rarely argue now. We get along well, despite both of our pride and stubbornness. But I know that my inner beast is still lurking within me, waiting for its chance to spring out of the depths of my subconscious. I will not be able to contain it forever. One day, I will be defeated once more by my inner beast. When it happens, it will take over me with its full force. I really hope that it is not caused by an argument with my mother, because things will get nasty.